• POC Events
  • Things To Do
  • Family Friendly Businesses & Services
  • Top Teachers
  • The Little Red Schoolhouse
  • School News

Parenting OC

  • Get an Issue
    • Latest Issue
    • Distribution outlets
  • About us
    • About the magazine
    • Contact us
    • The Press Room
  • Advertise
    • Readers’ Choice Advertising
  • Digital Archives
  • Contests
  • Coronavirus Articles
You are here: Home / Ask the Experts / Preparing for After Graduation

Preparing for After Graduation

July 29, 2017 2 Comments

graduation caps

Q: [Teens] I can’t believe the start of senior year has arrived. It seems like it came so quickly — I’m not sure who is less ready, our son or us! How do we know if he can be successful out in the world?

A: One of the most important things to remember about raising children is that you’re not raising children. You’re raising adults. As high-school seniors decide where to attend college, parents are starting to realize that all their hovering and hand-holding may have done their teens a disservice. Can your kid manage their time effectively? Do their own laundry? Balance their own checkbook? If not, now is the time to give your young adult the foundational skills they need to leave the nest.

College can prove incredibly stressful. Too often I have seen parents bring a kid home after one semester because their young adult, who had never been held accountable for his behavior or never had to manage his time, stalled out in the chaotic world of college.

To avoid this, begin to widen your boundaries for your kids in the middle of high school. Slowly get your kids to take responsibility for getting themselves up for school, finishing their homework, doing their own laundry, scheduling their own appointments and getting to them on time. You learn so much more from your mistakes than your successes, and it is far better to make those mistakes now.

Backing off also serves as a litmus test to see how ready your child is for real life. Chronic substance abuse, ditching classes, academic underperformance and issues with authority are red flags that your child might not be ready to handle the responsibilities of college life. If you see warning signs, remember that just because a college has given your child the green light, doesn’t mean you have to. Some parents elect not to send their senior to a four-year university to let them “incubate” at a junior college before leaving home because they’re just not ready. College is a significant financial investment, and you want to get the best return on that investment.

Once they have left, it’s up to you to keep that helicopter grounded. If you Skype or FaceTime once a week, you can get a good visual assessment of your kid without overwhelming them with calls and texts that don’t give them the room to grow. Remember, the point of all those diaper changes and soccer games was to create a well-rounded, responsible citizen of the world.


Jerry WeichmanDr. Jerry Weichman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and adolescent specialist at Hoag Hospital. He enjoys helping teens get ready for the next steps in life, as well as counseling their parents in the best ways to help that process.

Filed Under: Ask the Experts

Comments

  1. Tammy Seres says

    August 15, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    Hello Dr. Weichman,

    Do you do any assessments on children with A.D.D?
    I have a young senior just turning 17 and boy am I struggling with disrespect and the other above issues.

    Look forward to your reply.

    Thank You,
    Tammy Seres

    Reply
    • Kevin Yoshimasu says

      August 24, 2017 at 11:39 am

      Hello Tammy,

      Unfortunately there is a good chance Dr. Weichman would not see your comment here. If you would like to get in touch with him though to help you with any quesitons, please email my editor at sascha@parentingoc.com and she will be able to get you in contact with him!

      Reply

Leave a Reply to Kevin Yoshimasu Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Parenting OC March 2021 - Web
Read our March 2021 Digital Issue!

Socialize with Parenting OC

Search Parenting OC

Mailing List Sign Up Button Stay up to date on current events, hot topics, contests and giveaways by signing up for Parenting OC's mailing list.

Browse by category

Feedburner Sign Up Button Subscribe to Parenting OC email service.

Parenting OC Tweets

  • Local mom creates book systems teaching kids that success is built on character. #ParentingOC #characterbooks… https://t.co/5JuvlMbIkx March 5, 2021 4:20 am
  • Read the inspirational stories of some of our 2021 OC Top Teachers from Parenting OC's annual School Heroes Awards!… https://t.co/Us5wNmGaii March 4, 2021 4:04 am
  • How educators and parents can help students — and themselves — emotionally cope with pandemic and socio-political s… https://t.co/GUkL3DWZUe February 27, 2021 3:16 am
  • Follow Parenting OC on Twitter!

Recent Articles

  • Top 5 Tax Deductions for Pet Owners in 2021
  • Top Teachers of Orange County 2021
  • Top Employees of Orange County Schools 2021
  • Top Leaders of Orange County 2021
  • Family Snapshots – March 2021
© 2021 Tierney Publishing · Contact · Advertise