Q: [Teens & Tweens] My daughter has been in junior high for almost a month and suddenly has a lot more food choices open to her at school, where we aren’t around to monitor or advice. She’s used to our pretty healthy cupboards, and seems lethargic and appears to be putting on weight. I know puberty could be at play, but I found a handful of stashed sweets wrappers and sugary drink bottle stuffed in the pocket of her backpack, so I think it might be what she’s choosing at lunchtime. I don’t want to give her a complex about her weight, how do I handle this?
A: First of all, excellent job on laying the foundation of healthy eating in your home. Here are a few points when talking to your daughter:
- Make it positive; do not make it about her. Start by asking open-ended question such as “How is school going?” “How do you like the school food?” “What meals and snacks are available and what have you tried?” Do not mention the wrappers you found in her backpack because this will put her on the defensive. Instead, make this an open place to share.
- Empower her to make healthy food choices. Talk to her about how now that she is older, she is responsible for making her own food choices outside of the home. Share some of your own experiences in choosing healthy foods, and acknowledge that it can be difficult when less healthy options are quick and yummy.
- Focus on how unhealthy foods make you feel, rather than how they make your body look. Talk about how unhealthy foods make you feel tired and generally less healthy, while healthy foods give you more energy, help you sleep better, help you feel better about yourself, and help you to live longer, think faster, and be stronger.
- Build a positive framework for making food choices. Talk about the “sometimes” or less healthy foods versus the “always” or healthier foods, which should always be the first option. “Sometimes” foods should not be demonized, but instead are a fun treat. However, less healthy foods can often sneak into your stomach without you even noticing or appreciating it as a treat. For example, pretzels, goldfish, fruit snacks, and granola bars are those foods that don’t seem to be unhealthy like cake or cookies, but can actually be loaded with sugar. It’s important to be aware of what you are eating and choose carrots or an apple over carb-filled snacks, and then look forward to that ice cream you are going to enjoy with friends later.
Response by Katherine D. Roberts, MD, Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and a board-certified pediatrician at Mission Hospital, part of St. Joseph Hoag Health.
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