Q: [Preschool to Kindergarten] My youngest is heading off to full-day Kindergarten. For some reason, this is hitting me harder than it did with my older kids. I feel like I’m empty nesting. I don’t want him to pick up on any stress or negativity and connect it with school. What are some good distractions to deal with this?
A: You’re not alone in feeling this way. It is a symbolic “cutting of the cord” and represents a type of separation that is new for the parents and child, but it is a positive step toward growth. It’s understandable that your feelings of care and concern can create stress. That’s the protective mechanism that surfaces within parents.
Being home with your son was obviously a very special time. You gave him a gift that helped set the stage for success and I have no doubt that you also received a special gift by being with him. Thoughts such as, “What will life be like for him in school?” or “Will he be OK?” are common. Your son may be experiencing a little nervousness, too. Your sensitivity to him picking up on your emotions is to be commended.
You play an important role in your son’s development into a fine young man. The following five steps may be helpful with this transition and lead to a mindset that helps create feelings of increased positivity, reduced stress, and pride for you both.
- Acknowledge your feelings. (You’re ahead of the game!)
- Reframe your thinking by identifying aspects of this transition to celebrate, i.e. – Your child will get a good education or he will develop social skills.
- Create a daily schedule for yourself that includes a new productive activity as well as something fun. (Take the class you’ve wanted to take or start a new hobby)
- a) Write a brief love note to your son for his first day of school that feeds him encouragement, positivity, and excitement on this new journey. b) Write a brief love note to yourself focusing on what your son might say to you 15 years from now about the love, guidance, and preparationyou gave him during your special time together.
- While this is a transition from early childhood to school-age, remind yourself that your role in your son’s life is even more critical and the sense of closeness you share will serve you both well.
Debbie Hutchinson, Psy.D., is the manager of outpatient behavioral health programs and the psychiatric emergency team at Mission Hospital Laguna Beach, part of the St. Joseph Hoag Health network of care.
Leave a Reply