Q: How can I make those early years of my kids’ lives count as a dad?
A: The month of June and Father’s Day offer a meaningful opportunity to celebrate and recognize dads and father figures: the men who show up, support and shape our children’s earliest years. It’s also an opportunity to consider what it means to be a father or father figure, and how to impact children in the most positive way.
A father’s involvement during the first five years of a child’s life has a lifelong impact on the child’s emotional well-being, self-esteem, health and early learning. Research links engaged fatherhood to improved physical health outcomes, stronger social skills, greater resilience and higher academic achievement for children.
While we are seeing a significant shift towards increased father engagement, dads might not know where to start. Today’s dads are experiencing fatherhood very differently from previous generations, as the role of being a father continues to evolve and family structures and societal norms change and grow.
Here are a few simple, effective ways you can intentionally support your child’s growth every day:
Incorporate Physical Play
Active play, such as chasing, gentle wrestling or roughhousing, helps children develop coordination, impulse control and resilience. These interactions can incite shared laughter and movement, which also strengthen emotional bonds. Children learn to navigate excitement, regulate their emotions and form parental trust through this type of gruff physical play.
Promote Problem-Solving
Get your young child thinking with activities like household scavenger hunts, which can foster memory skills and early problem-solving. Show them a set of items, hide them and then encourage your child to find them. If it’s challenging, offer hints! Problem-solving play supports cognitive development in an engaging, low-pressure way. As children get older, make the hunt more difficult to help build persistence and critical thinking.
Establish Routines
Predictable routines provide a sense of security and safety for young children. With set standards, children learn what to expect and what is expected of them. Bedtime is a great time to build connection and provides another opportunity for learning. Reading together strengthens bonds and supports language development. When reading with your child, keep them engaged with expressive storytelling. The sillier the reading voice, the better! Studies show that kids who have regular reading time learn one million more words by kindergarten than kids who don’t.
Use Every Moment to Connect
Regular positive interactions, like greeting your child with a smile and a warm tone, play a foundational role in development and act as emotional touch-points. Say hello to your child with enthusiasm when you wake them up or return home from work. Take the time to listen to them when they talk about their feelings or their day. Kids notice more than we realize. They can tell when our attention is truly with them and when it’s somewhere else, even at a very young age. Whether it’s bedtime or playtime, these everyday moments are valuable opportunities to be fully present and genuinely connect.
A father’s or father figure’s impact extends far beyond any single moment. Every day, fathers help lay the groundwork for children to grow up confident, capable and resilient.
Andrew Montejo is a program officer at First 5 Orange County. He leads the fatherhood inclusion and engagement initiatives.
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