A Stoic Dad is a Mindful Dad

Learn how the ways of the ancient Stoics can help you as a parent. 

As modern fathers, we often express our love for our children through consumerism or entertainment. However, the ancient Stoics had a different approach to parenting. They believed that character developed through exercise, sports and hard work. 

As stoic dads, we have the power to cultivate self-awareness of our emotions and teach our children to do the same. This empowerment allows our children to develop healthy emotional regulation strategies that can benefit them throughout their lives. By practicing stoic mindfulness, we can improve what we pay attention to by focusing on the present moment.

Here are some practical tips on how to be a stoic dad:

1. Practice emotional self-awareness. Take the time to understand and reflect on your emotions and learn to regulate and manage them effectively. Recognize that it is normal to experience a wide range of emotions. Encourage open communication by creating an environment where children feel safe expressing their feelings and thoughts honestly. Encourage them to communicate openly and truthfully without fear of judgment or punishment.
2. Teach emotional intelligence. Encourage your children to identify and express their emotions. Use age-appropriate language to teach your child how to label their feelings and find healthy ways to cope with them. Teach children the importance of active listening to understand others’ emotions. Encourage them to maintain eye contact, nod and respond when someone shares their feelings. Model active listening by giving your full attention when your child expresses themselves.
3. Lead by example. Show your children how to learn from challenges and setbacks with resilience and composure. Model stoic principles such as maintaining inner calm and focusing on what can be controlled. Direct your energy toward mastering positive life changes by learning from life’s challenges and setbacks.
4. Encourage mindfulness. Be present in the moment and teach your children to do the same. Help them stay focused, notice their surroundings and appreciate the present. Focusing on the breath is a mindfulness tool that can bring calm to the present moment.
5. Foster gratitude. Cultivate a sense of gratitude in yourself and your children. Encourage them to appreciate the small joys in life, fostering a positive outlook, positive mindset, resilience in difficult times and the lessons you can learn from difficult situations.
6. Emphasize character. Teach your children the importance of virtues like honesty, integrity and self-discipline. Help them understand that character is more valuable than external achievements or possessions. When children demonstrate honesty or act with integrity, provide positive reinforcement and praise the behavior to encourage them to continue practicing these virtues.
7. Nurture resilience. Help your children bounce back from failure and setbacks. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes and see challenges as opportunities for growth. Provide opportunities for reflection. Create opportunities for children to reflect on their choices and actions.

By following these tips, you can guide your children toward emotional well-being and equip them with the skills to navigate life’s challenges with strength and wisdom. Remember, as a stoic dad, your role is to empower your children to develop healthy emotional regulation strategies and cultivate a deep understanding of their own emotions. Let us embrace the wisdom of the ancient Stoics and strive to raise children who are not only successful in the traditional sense but also possess a strong moral compass and a deep sense of purpose. Let us prioritize character development over consumerism and instill in our children the values and virtues that will guide them toward a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Anthony Cupo is a trained mindfulness facilitator (TMF) from the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. He is a co-owner of Stepping Forward Counseling Center, LLC, and has been meditating for over 30 years.