A Letter to Stoic Fathers

Learn how writing a letter can foster emotional intelligence, gratitude and mindfulness in your family.

Dear Fathers,

I hope this letter finds you well and enhances your life while strengthening your bonds with those you cherish. I would like to share some reflections on how the act of writing letters can cultivate a sense of stoicism in our relationships with our children, a concept that feels increasingly relevant in today’s fast-paced world. 

Letters have a unique ability to convey thoughts and emotions thoughtfully and intentionally. When a child receives a letter, it encourages them to pause and reflect on the words they read. This practice invites them to slow down, think critically and process their feelings instead of reacting impulsively. In an age dominated by instant communication, a letter serves as a gentle reminder to step back and engage in meaningful reflection about their responses. When a child receives a letter, the value of that moment is truly priceless.

Writing letters fosters emotional intelligence by articulating thoughts on paper, children learn to express their feelings clearly. This process enhances the understanding of emotions and fosters self-awareness, an essential aspect of stoicism. When children can identify and communicate their emotions, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed, leading to a more balanced and resilient mindset. 

Letters create a tangible link to the past. Revisiting a letter years later can remind a child of the challenges they faced and how they overcame them. This reflection reinforces the Stoic principle of resilience — the ability to withstand adversity and emerge stronger. Children can recognize that their struggles were temporary and appreciate the growth that resulted from those experiences. 

Letter writing can instill values such as gratitude and mindfulness. When children write to express gratitude or articulate their perspectives and thoughts, they participate in an activity that fosters attention on the positive elements of life.  This shift in perspective aligns seamlessly with Stoic teachings, which emphasize finding joy in simplicity and recognizing the transient nature of emotions and situations. 

At the end of the school year, my children write letters to everyone who may have impacted them. The act of writing and receiving letters enriches their emotional landscape. It nurtures reflection, emotional intelligence, resilience and gratitude — qualities intrinsic to stoicism. By promoting this practice, I believe we can help foster a mindset that will benefit them throughout their lives. 

Writing a letter to a parent can be an incredibly meaningful experience — an opportunity for self-reflection. Putting into words what one wishes they may say someday is a profound gift to oneself. Thank you for being an exceptional parent and for always encouraging me to think deeply about life. I eagerly await your thoughts on this. 

With love,

Anthony Cupo

Anthony Cupo is a trained mindfulness facilitator (TMF) from the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. He is a co-owner of Stepping Forward Counseling Center, LLC, and has been meditating for over 30 years.