Stop chasing calm. Start practising acceptance.
Most working mums I know could out-manage half the boardrooms in the city (except their team at home rarely follows instructions and always needs snacks).
We talk about ‘balance’ like it’s something you can schedule, but maybe that’s the wrong metric. What if the real skill isn’t keeping everything level, but learning to accept what’s already tilting?
That’s the heart of mindfulness. It’s the shift from trying to control life to actually experiencing and accepting it.
What is mindfulness, exactly?
Mindfulness is the simple (but not always easy) act of paying attention to what’s happening right now—your thoughts, your body, your surroundings—without trying to change or judge it.
Think of it as mental decluttering: creating a bit of breathing room between what’s happening and how you react.
Research published in Science Direct links regular mindfulness practice to lower stress hormones, better sleep, improved focus, and even stronger immune response. A recent study even found it can reduce anxiety as effectively as medication for some people.
Put simply, it’s awareness, not control—and that’s where its power lies.
Why acceptance changes everything
Mindfulness often gets framed as calm breathing and quiet minds, but its real strength lies in acceptance. It’s what stops small setbacks from snowballing into full-blown frustration.
When you stop judging every moment as good or bad, you start responding instead of reacting. Studies (like this one published by BMC) show that acceptance-based mindfulness not only reduces stress but also builds resilience—it helps you recover faster when things go off-script.
For working mums, that means fewer spirals over missed deadlines or chaotic mornings, and more energy left for what actually matters. Acceptance doesn’t soften your edges; it gives you steadier ground to stand on.
Tiny adjustments that make a big difference
You don’t need an hour of silence or a fancy journal to practice mindfulness. You just need a few intentional pauses built into the day you already have.
1. The pre-meeting pause
Before you open your laptop or join a call, take ten seconds to check in: shoulders, breath, jaw. It’s a small act of noticing that resets your brain before the day starts deciding things for you.
2. Name it, don’t fight it
When something goes wrong (spilt milk, missed deadline, toddler tantrum), name what you’re feeling—irritated, anxious, tired, frustrated, drained, guilty, or just done. Labeling the emotion has been proven to calm the brain’s threat response.
3. One-minute window
Pick a window you look out of often, the kitchen, the bus, your office. Once a day, actually look. Colors, shapes, light. It’s simple, grounding, and proven to reduce mental fatigue.
4. Five-line journal
Forget the “dear diary” essays. Write five short lines: one thing you noticed, one thing you felt, one thing that surprised you, one thing that annoyed you, one thing you’re grateful for. Done.
5. Re-entry ritual
When you finish work, don’t just close the laptop and dive into dinner. Take two minutes to transition; wash your hands, change your top, put on music. Physical cues tell your brain the day’s shifted gear.
6. Phone hand-off
Choose one daily moment—whether that’s the school pick-up, bedtime, or lunch—to be phone-free. Notice how twitchy you feel at first. That discomfort is awareness sharpening itself.
7. The micro-reset
Set a timer to buzz every couple of hours. When it does, breathe once deeply, unclench your shoulders, drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth. You’d be shocked how much tension you carry.
8. Audit the noise
Before bed, replay the day and note where your attention got hijacked—examples may include emails, Slack, guilt, or snacks. Awareness is the first step to re-routing it tomorrow.
9. The curious question
When stress hits, swap “Why is this happening?” for “What’s actually happening?” It’s the difference between spiraling and seeing.
10. Self-talk out loud
When you mess up, say what you’d say to a friend. Literally. Out loud. It interrupts your brain’s internal critic, which is why therapists use it as a real intervention technique.
Why acceptance might be the most productive thing you do
You don’t need another system to stay on top of things. You need a way to stay with them. That’s what mindfulness and acceptance offer—not serenity on demand, but the ability to stay grounded while everything else moves. Perfection is overrated. Presence is what lasts.
Anthony Cupo is a trained mindfulness facilitator (TMF) from the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. He is a co-owner of Stepping Forward Counseling Center, LLC, and has been meditating for over 30 years.
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