The Inner Leader

Camp can allow children the chance to take charge.

Camp offers the camaraderie of building friendships, problem-solving tasks from campfire-starting to color-war-strategizing and freedom from the responsibilities of daily family life. But one benefit that doesn’t always spring to mind is its fertile environment for growing leadership skills.

Some children seem to effortlessly fall into the role of leader, no matter what the situation. However, there are those children who are late bloomers. These are the ones who blend in early on, but blossom with maturity and become presidents of their high school class or captains of a varsity team. Why do some young people take charge of school projects and playground activities with ease, while others are happy to take the proverbial back seat?

Nurture or Nature?

“Talent for leadership is a combination of nurture and nature. Leadership requires the building of a strong central core,” says Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., a nationally recognized family and child development expert, author, and educator.

Some kids might be trapped in their perceived roles in the family or in their school social circle. The unfamiliar challenges of camp and new kids to befriend can offer an opportunity for campers to step out of their comfort zone and release their inner leader without fear of being judged or rebuked.

Karin Hurt, CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders, LLC (letsgrowleaders.com), adjunct professor at the University of Maryland, and prominent keynote speaker, explains, “Parents can be as deliberate in developing leadership as they are in exposing children to reading music and excelling in sports. Intrinsic motivation is one of the key qualities of leadership. Human beings of all ages are more motivated to invest time and energy when they feel they are an important part of something bigger than themselves.”

The camp setting is one of natural team building, with everything from mess hall duties to camp skits returning to a sense of tribe or group. And each group needs its leaders. Most camps will rotate these positions in small ways, to ensure every voice is heard. So how can we prepare our camper and ease the path to a more assertive and bold child?

The following key leadership qualities can be nurtured from a very young age.

Confidence

Confidence and self-esteem are inherently linked. “A well-bonded child has less stress, processes information better, sticks to problem-solving longer, and ultimately, has good self-esteem,” says Gross.

Capable leaders are confident with their vision and decisions, while simultaneously listening to others’ opinions without feeling threatened. Gross continues, “A child who is secure in his own shoes can listen to his own inner voice, as well as the opinions of others, without the need to dominate.”

Gross also advises parents to allow their children to be take part in decision-making. “You are building that secure central core which is so important for good self-esteem.”

Self-advocacy

Camp offers the independence of being away from the crutch of family. Children need to learn to fend for themselves and to fight their own battles. Parents shouldn’t constantly rescue their kids when a mistake has been made, such as delivering a forgotten textbook to school or explaining to a child’s teacher why a project wasn’t completed on time. You are helping your child to learn to be a self-starter when you teach him to take responsibility for his actions.

Gross asserts, “Teaching your child how to tactfully and clearly explain his position and feelings to others, allows him to be self-advocating. Through your own authentic, social interactions, you are teaching your child to respect the opinions of others, to evaluate them, and to follow her own voice.”

Gross also points out that by teaching a strong sense of values and integrity, you are strengthening your child’s ability to be assertive.

Decisiveness

In order to be decisive, a person needs to feel secure with his own decision-making and problem-solving abilities. Parents should allow their kids to make small decisions from an early age, such as what to have for a snack after school. Camp will give kids a safe place to test these skills.

“One of the most important parts of learning to be decisive is understanding that choosing between two good alternatives is not right or wrong,” Hurt says.

Hurt recommends that parents teach children to write down the pros and cons of choices. “This is a good way to help them develop critical thinking skills,” she adds.

Communication

Some children are comfortable presenting reports to their class, while others break out in a cold sweat. Campfire talks, performing skits, or even taking the lead in classic camp songs can develop public speaking skills in a fun way.

Practice this in advance. “Sharing stories, taking turns with the dinner blessing, and making toasts in celebration are all easy ways to help your child gain confidence and competence in speaking in front of others,” says Gross.

Courage

Children need to learn to take risks and to fearlessly follow dreams. New physical and emotional challenges encountered in camp allow kids to take that leap.

“The ‘No risk, no reward’ mantra is practiced by leaders who have mastered good core values, strong inner vision, and self-control,” Gross claims.

Hurt explains that modeling is critical when teaching children about risk-taking. “If you freak out when you make a mistake, your kids will pick up on that. When adults say ‘I can’t do that,’ children hear ‘Don’t try unless you know you will be successful.’ Encouraging experimentation is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.”

Humility

Humble leaders understand their own shortcomings as well as others’ strengths. They also accept that they can’t do everything themselves and know when to seek help from others.

“Life is about relationships, and this requires being able to get along with all people from all walks of life. Good leaders value their team and listen to the ideas of others,” Gross points out.

“Humility and empathy are two of the most vital leadership skills to learn,” says Hurt.

She suggests exposing children to lots of people in different environments and circumstances. This can sometimes be difficult to achieve in the bubble of the OC, which is why camp offers such a rich experience.

So don’t be surprised when you head to camp to pick up your wallflower and discover they have bloomed into a leader. Even if a child is not destined to be a governor or CEO of a Fortune 500 company, leadership qualities help young people reach goals and become more successful adults, no matter what their future holds.

By Myrna Beth Haskell