Learn how building community supports your child’s growth — and yours too.
As parents, we are inundated with messages urging us to buy all the stuff that will help our children succeed at school and in life: the latest sneakers, the expensive tutors, the most up-to-date gadgets. If we really want our kids to be happy, healthy and well-prepared for life’s challenges, the best thing we can give them costs nothing but is truly priceless: other people.
A strong, supportive community builds belonging, resilience and wellness. In fact, the CDC reports that people with strong community ties have a 50 percent greater chance of living longer. The implications for children are clear: Being part of a vibrant community can shape not only their childhood experiences, but their mental, emotional and physical health well into adulthood.
So how do we help our kids — and ourselves — build their community?
Create Opportunities for Connection
Children thrive when they experience a sense of belonging. Neighborhood sports teams. After-school clubs. Summer camps. Many different types of group activities provide a space where children can make friends, learn to work together and experience the joy of shared success.
Studies show that strong social connections are linked to better physical health, increased resilience and lower rates of anxiety and depression in adults. In children, those important bonds help build emotional intelligence, communication skills and self-confidence.
Encourage your child to participate in environments that foster collaboration and play. Then, help those connections last — a few playdates or meetups can turn a school friendship into a lifelong one.
Support Independence Through Participation
Being part of a community helps children develop confidence in their ability to contribute, lead and make decisions. Whether they’re planning a group project or organizing a game, children gain confidence by stepping into roles where their voice matters.
You can nurture this growth at home. Ask your child to help plan family activities or take on responsibilities that reflect their growing independence, like volunteering with a trusted nonprofit, walking the dog or making a simple dinner. These everyday actions help reinforce the skills they’re building in group settings and give them a greater sense of ownership in their lives.
Stay Active, Stay Engaged
Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing stress, building focus and fostering joy. Community-based physical programs — like team sports, dance classes and hiking groups — give children a chance to move their bodies and connect with others.
Active play is not just fun, it’s foundational. It’s where children learn to push their limits, work with others and develop grit. To carry those benefits into the school year, prioritize after-school programs that offer both educational enrichment and opportunities to move. A well-balanced week might include a mix of homework help, sports and IRL time with friends — engagement that feeds the body and the brain.
Lead by Example
“Do as I say, not as I do,” just doesn’t cut it with kids. Children learn by watching us — and they’re watching us intently.
When they see us showing up for others, offering help, or celebrating someone else’s success, they absorb those values. Make space in your family life for volunteering, group activities or simply spending time with others in your neighborhood. These moments model the kind of community participation that your child is likely to carry forward.
A Place to Begin
If you’re not sure where to start, look for organizations that value connection and character development across generations. The YMCA of Orange County, for example, offers programs for people of all ages and stages of life that support everything from skill-building to social connection. But the most important thing isn’t where you begin — it’s that you do.
Our kids are growing up in a world that moves quickly and can often feel isolating. By helping them build and maintain community, we as parents give our children a foundation of support, purpose and belonging that will shape their future — and the future of their community.
Dorain Cassell is the director of Operations, Child & Youth Development at YMCA of Orange County.
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