Q: [Infant/Toddler] We are thrilled sharing our life with our new baby…but less thrilled that we somehow ended up sharing our bed, too! It wasn’t planned, just morphed into this. I love my child, but with Valentine’s Day coming up, it would be great to reclaim our bedroom.”
A: Believe it or not, “surprise” co-sleeping is quite normal. Many parents end up having children in their beds full-time, even though that was never the original intention. Fortunately, you can reverse this process and send your little ones back to solo snoozing!
Begin by spending some non-sleep time with your child in her bed, so that the bed doesn’t seem “foreign.” Play together in bed, sing songs, color pictures … anything that will help her feel comfortable in her space.
During the first few nights, start bedtime with your child in her own bed, but start small — even if she only manages to sleep 30 minutes at first, that’s okay! Once she’s had enough of her own bed, welcome her back into bed with you. But gradually try to keep her in her room for longer and longer periods of time.
When you’re ready to make the switch permanently, camp out in your child’s room for a few nights and commit to keeping her in her own bed all night, no matter how exhausting this becomes (it’ll be short-lived!). Gradually spend less and less time in her room to promote more independence. Independence doesn’t have to be immediate.
When you feel she’s acclimated, reclaim your bed and sleep there all night, going in to re-settle your child only as needed.
The pace of this process is ultimately up to you. Some parents can accomplish this in matter of days, while others will need a few weeks. However long it takes you, though, stay positive: if your child sees you remaining calm and upbeat throughout this transition, that’ll go a long way towards helping her feel the same way. Stick with it, and you should be well on your way to a romantic (and hopefully kid-free!) Valentine’s Day.
Nicole Johnson is a married mother of two wonderful boys and owner of The Baby Sleep Site. She has a passion for helping parents, and babies, enjoy a good night’s sleep. ww.babysleepsite.com
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