The word takes on a whole new meaning.
Love (luhv) n. 1. An intense affection for another person or attachment to another person based on regard or shared experiences or interests.
I could give you the second through the tenth description of the word “love” stated in The American Heritage Dictionary (TAHD), but they are all pretty much slightly different versions of this first description. Frankly, I am quite disappointed in the editors, writers, publishers, critics and etymologists that make up the staff of said dictionary. Let me tell you where TAHD got it wrong. They gave you the generic, mainstream, PC version. Here’s mine:
Love (luhv) v. 1-127,573 (in no particular order of importance).
- An action taken by which someone in your life knows you give a $#!@.
- A nurturing action taken because you gave birth to someone whom, 18 years after said birth, you no longer recognize, admire for their fashion choices, or like in terms of personality development.
- Affection demonstrated toward another human being for the mere fact that he or she is a blood relative—a fact that you whole-heartedly dispute but never verbalize because you don’t want to upset Grandma.
- A conscious decision to ignore the obvious mental defect of the male homosapien that does not allow him to remember his anniversary, his wife’s birthday or the appropriate timespan within which it is reasonable to take out the trash.
- Sitting in the ER and holding your best friend’s hand because there is nothing else you can do.
- Letting your kid babysit their friend’s guinea pig for three weeks because they will never get any pets or piercings as long as they reside at 25481 My Damn House.
- Smiling at your sister’s weirdly bohemian boyfriend, who has blond dreads, “Rasta Forever” tattooed on his arm, and is from Stamford, Conn., not Kingston, Jamaica.
- Ignoring your husband’s middle-aged spread.
- Ignoring your wife’s middle-aged spread.
- Telling your kid, “No darling, Mommy has no favorites. I love you all the same.”
- Wiping your son’s tears and kissing his boo boo when there is nothing visible on his knee.
12-127,561. LOVE is a verb.
Pass it on.
By Karen Fuller Beck